Direct or Indirect Communication Which One Do You Prefer?
Do you know what’s your communication style?
Okay, before that let’s define what is communication and what is communication style.
Communication is a two-way process for reaching mutual understanding through verbal, non-verbal, and written messages. Communication style is defined as the way in which individuals interact with one another and the messages they send, intentionally or not, through their behaviors.
Why should you know about your own communication style?
Determining your own communication style can help you improve how you share information with others. Learning how to effectively communicate with styles different from your own will enable you to establish effective relationships and create better understanding.
There are some styles in personal communication: direct, initiating, supportive, and analytical. My own personal style of communication is Initiating, which means I may be perceived as someone who talks more than listens and often perceived as self assured, innovative, and persuasive. I respond strongly to praise and approval. My pace is fast and may appear impulsive at times. I prefer a stimulating, personal, and friendly work environment.
That’s about my personal communication style. But today I won’t talk about this but more general topics. Direct and Indirect communication.
When I was working with some Japanese organization during my fresh-graduate year in Jakarta, I struggled so much to adapt with Japanese indirect communication style because The Japanese communication pattern is very indirect and far less verbose than what an Indonesian is familiar with.
There is one occasion when I assisted the Japanese experts team to work on Indonesian national water supply development project. During a meeting between the Ministry of Public Works of Indonesia and Japanese representative, one person from the ministry side asked some tasks that weren’t mentioned at the G to G agreement at all. Of course the Japanese team should refuse that because it violates the agreement. But my boss at that time didn’t refuse and he just said, let us confirm it first (chotto kakunin shimasu).
After the meeting had ended, I asked him why he didn’t refuse the request. While it violates the agreement.
“Boss why didn’t you refuse their request? We can’t do anything that isn’t written in the contract.”
“Oh yes, I intended to not work on it that’s why I didn’t agree with it directly and said, let us confirm it first.”
And I was so speechless. Because it seems the ministry of Indonesia completely misunderstands what my boss means. In Indonesia, if we do not refuse it by directly saying “NO” that means we agree and are willing to work on it.
Big misunderstandings happen. As a consequence, we should work on those tasks without any additional payment.
The indirect communication culture in Japan means saving face and being polite are more important than being direct and honest. the Japanese may wish to avoid giving a flat “no” or negative response — even when they don’t agree with you. Therefore, we should focus on hints of hesitation. Listen closely to what they say, but also pay careful attention to what they don’t say and implicitly mean. It’s a good idea to clarify and double check your understanding.
In Japan there is a saying: Kuuki Wo Yomu or reading the air.
This is because they rely less on words to convey context and are more attentive to the posture, expression and tone of voice of the speaker to draw meaning from a conversation. In order to maintain harmony throughout conversation and prevent a loss of face on either end, they may use ambiguous speech and understatements to convey their message in a more subtle way. The best way of navigating around this rhetoric to find the underlying meaning is to check for clarification several times using open-ended questions.
That’s for the Indirect communication. How about direct communication?
Indonesia is in the middle between direct and indirect communication so I won’t use Indonesia as an example. Let’s use the USA as an example.
Americans are very direct communicators. They tend to convey their entire message verbally, paying less attention to body language. People are expected to ‘get to the point’.
Americans are generally quite enthusiastic, assertive and persuasive in their speech. Americans are not very modest. People are expected to speak on their own behalf instead of waiting for someone to tell of their achievements or success for them. Americans may speak at higher volumes in public spaces. Americans sometimes grow uncomfortable when social chat is punctuated with long periods of pause or silence and often try to fill the gap in conversation.
So which one is better? Nothing. The key is, you should adapt with the situation. Try to fit and blend in with the society. If you are in Japan, then use and learn about indirect communication to avoid any misunderstanding. If you are in the USA, then use direct communication. Be direct, be blunt. If you are in Indonesia then try to find the middle ground.
